Have You Been to a Death Cafe? ☠️

death, discussion, art, perfection

Death Cafe

So, last night I went with a friend to something called a Death Cafe. It was her birthday and she requested I go with her for her birthday (does she know me or what and how cool is that?).

It sounded interesting and I was intrigued. I suppose coming from the artist’s perspective (the only one I know) I thought it would be something wild and creative, like everyone sharing their imaginary ideas of a wild and crazy death or discussing what we’d like to come after or some such thing.

What it ended up being was more than a few people obsessed with death, a few who felt uncomfortable with the idea of death and talking about it, one who was contemplating what hers would look like or wanted it to look like, one who wanted to proselytize to us all about what comes after and the rest of us who, I think, were just curious what this would be like.

Here is what their website says, “At a Death Cafe people gather to eat cake, drink tea and discuss death. Our objective is ‘to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives’.”

I like the idea of talking about death and it came up more than once that people very often change the subject when it comes up. The interesting thing is that the Death Cafe was invented in England and is much more popular in many many other countries than the US. Several people asked why this was and I thought it made perfect sense as the US has such an obsession with perfection and death certainly isn’t part of perfection. To be honest, I have no interest in perfection, nor do I find it the least bit interesting, which is why I feel like I don’t fit into most regular circles, however America’s obsession with perfection just keeps on growing with more and more plastic surgeries including on people’s pets now (really, do we have to bring them into it too?).

We (the collective “we”) just don’t like talking about anything negative or even acknowledging anything that isn’t perfect or

bug, death, art, conversation

Beetle Death by Alys Myers

happy. It’s funny because life is a lot easier – and let’s face it, life is not easy – when we just admit it wasn’t ever going to be easy. The bar gets lower, you know?

I had a conversation with someone at my old job who was talking to me about an ex-employee who we were both friendly with and I had visited last year. I was talking about the visit and something odd that her husband did that affected the whole visit. The woman’s response to me was “but he’s such a good father and a great guy”. I just stared at her for a second because her view was so different from mine and I was just realizing how different we look at things.

Yes, absolutely he is a great father and a wonderful guy. I was not attempting to wipe out everything good about him by mentioning that he’s not perfect. It actually makes him a more interesting character in my book.

How do you feel about this topic? Agree, disagree, can’t swallow it? Tell me.

Hey! Also, if you’re in the Boston area and are free on the evening of May 3rd, 5:30-8:30, I am doing a presentation of my All The Pardons app (the app that tells you not to be rude with your phone) for ArtWeek Boston. People will present me with their pet peeves of rude cell phone behavior and I will have actors with me who will act out what those scenarios looked like before the cell phone. There will be food and good coffee and it will be a lot of fun!

Here’s the info and a blurb promoting All The Pardons in the Metro:

Date: Thursday, May 3, 2018
Time: 5:30-8:30pm
Location: Lighthouse, 20th floor, CIC Boston
Boston, MA 02109 (easily accessible by Red, Green, Blue, Silver, and Orange lines.
Hope to see you there!

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