Dig a Little Deeper. See the Gold?

Hello y’all,

This week I’m wading through sadness at reading more of the stories coming from the California fires. I’m heartbroken at what I can just

children, innocence. childhood, love, appreciation

Cutie Petutie

imagine to be a living, or dying, hell.

I feel helpless and at a loss to wrap my head around situations with which I can only do my best to empathize.

Dealing with these feelings are hard but my nephew helped me out quite a bit last week without even intending to do so.

A couple of weekends ago I had my niece and nephew over for a weekend sleepover. This was only the second time that my nephew had been over for an extended period as he is only 3 years old. My niece, on the other hand, has been doing sleepovers with me for a couple of years (she’s 5).

It’s really SO incredibly different with boys and girls and you can really see our essential differences at these ages in a more exaggerated way because they’re so pronounced, but my niece and I have a bond that goes beyond even this. Since she was born there has been a connection between us that I can’t describe and don’t feel with any other person. I wouldn’t have had any idea what that feeling was like before she was born and wouldn’t have had language for it, although I’m not sure I have much language for it now.

The amazing thing is that she feels it too (thank goodness or else I would think I’m a bit nutty, know what I mean?) and gets so excited at the prospect of us spending time together – even has learned to ask for it when she feels she especially needs it.

My nephew, on the other hand, is a guys guy. He loves his daddy and grandpa best and has just eased out of being shy around me and pulling away when I approach. Of course I am clearer on my niece’s communication style over my nephew’s style and have been more comfortable with her overall because of this.

Honesty, shy, sharing, vulnerability

So, the spelling isn’t right – he’s 3! So sweet!

Everything started to change a couple of weeks ago when my nephew decided that he wanted me to drive him home from where my mother lives, and where we meet every Saturday morning, and wouldn’t leave with my brother. “Really?” said my brother, as we were both shocked. He was making a stand.

I drove him home and we chatted along the way.

After our sleepover weekend, he went back to preschool the following week and his teacher had them all make Thanksgiving turkeys with five paper tail feathers on each of which they would assign what they were grateful for – I made it to feather number two!

This feeling is one of those you live for without previously knowing it. It put a permanent glow on my face last week and is lingering into this one. It is so significant because it was unintended. It showed me the love hiding behind the shyness, the unsure nature of a little boy which made me recognize the unsure nature of myself and the desire for closeness that we often don’t realize is right in front of us and right beneath our surface.

Look up from your phones! It’s there but you need to be present to see it!

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