Were You Bullied As A Kid…Or Now?

Were you bullied as a kid?bully, intimidation, insecurity

I kind of see people as either the bullies or the bullied but that’s a bit too simplified, isn’t it? If we’re all truly honest with ourselves, we can probably conjure up images of times when we’ve been bullied and times when we’ve been even slightly, yet purposefully, intimidating toward a brother or cousin, am I right?

The truth is that we all have these different people in us and they lie in wait of the right circumstances to come out and play.

As children we may be defenseless against the bully. We may not know what to do to protect ourselves or are lacking in the self esteem we would need to get ourselves out of the situation, however as adults, we have so many resources available to us and opportunities to build up our confidence that there’s really no good reason to give into the bully’s web of chaos, shaky insecurity and mistrust.

The way to the other side is through. There is no other workable path to break the destructive maze of intimidation that comes from these people. I have just come out on the other side and though it’s always a painful experience, holding your own is a very satisfying reality. The recipe is: focus on the goal, remember to be a good person and don’t let them see you sweat. Oh, and don’t forget to breathe! ☺️

You Know That Microphone Amplifies, Don’t You?

Ok, I am especially preoccupied with consideration these days and, particularly, presence in consideration.

Space Station 76, movie, isolation

Space Station 76

I saw a very creative film last night, Space Station 76, that combines space travel, the future and the 1970’s into one film and it was such an interesting concept! The reason these all go so well together is because the alienation of space travel – the lonliness, isolation, drifting – the unknown projection of the future – a cold space ship with long, unending corridors – and the memories of the 1970’s with its intolerance, cliched personality types, self-centeredness and, as a result, more isolation – make for a bleak black comedy where everyone remains distant, disconnected and again, isolated.

So…moral of the story…lack of consideration, overwhelming self-centeredness and life devoid of presence makes for a pretty miserable life. We are social beings and we function so much better as a cohesive worker bee colony.

So here are some questions to ask yourself.  When you stop on the street to answer a text or answer a phone call…do you pull over so people can get by or do you stop in the middle and block everyone? Have you even noticed what you do?

phone, dinner, etiquette, rudeWhen you enter a meeting or meet someone for lunch, do you turn your ringer off and put your phone out of sight or do you leave it on the table – a constant reminder to the person or people you’re with that something or someone else is more important.

One more…when you’re in a ride share or in a public place, do you talk at the top of your voice when you get a call or do you remember that there are others around and speak quietly so as not to disturb them (as much as possible)?

These are instances where life is better when remembering to be considerate – and I promise you, you will feel better about yourself for being a kinder more gentle version of yourself. :)

Assistance with better behavior to be found at allthepardons.com or at your nearest Google play store or iTunes store for download (for FREE!).

When Was the Last Time You Experienced Betrayal?

In the past few weeks I’ve experienced what I can only identify as a betrayal. It’s made me sick, it’s made me feel lonely and it’s thrown off my self-esteem and equilibrium. You know the feeling.jilbert-ebrahimi-33575-unsplash

I hesitate to use the word betrayal because it sounds so over dramatic to me, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that there’s no other way to see it.

We all experience betrayal in one way or another over the course of our lifetimes. It’s a part of life and learning through living but it is never an easy thing to experience.

I’ve made my feelings known to the parties involved but you also cannot force someone to see your point of view or even to hear you.

So, here’s my point. My job on this planet has nothing to do with anyone else or what anyone else is doing or has done.

IntegrityMy job is to be the best person I can be and to make sure that I don’t treat anyone the way I have been treated. Included in this description is making sure that I don’t remain angry, take it out on anyone else or carry it over into any new endeavors. I didn’t say it was easy, did I? What do you consider your job to be?

Anyway, these ideas are part of what inspired me to create the All The Pardons app (allthepardons.com, iTunes store & Google play store).

Who do you expect yourself to be?

One Global Government and Mediating the Parent/Child of Technology….

Listening to one of my favorite podcasts just recently, the Disrupt Yourself podcast with Whitney Johnson, I fell in fascination with an interview

Kevin Kelly, technology, future, AI, globalism

Kevin Kelly

with Kevin Kelly, the executive founder of Wired Magazine. He had some intriguing and thought provoking things to say about the future of tech and where we’re going with all of this AI and globalization stuff.

Here are some pieces/parts that I absorbed from that interview….

Regarding technology and our love/hate relationship with it, he says that we have a complicated relationship with technology because we are the master and the slave simultaneously as well as the parent and child simultaneously. This presents a tug of war in our brains that needs to be resolved as we work through it.

In my view, the only way to reconcile these two sides is through some sort of rules based discipline. If we let things take their own course, and run amok, I see the analogy as a child who craves discipline from their parent. There is a part of the child’s brain that sees the lack of discipline as lack of caring, which is true to some extent. We need the caring.

globalism, globalization, AI, the futureKelly’s second point was regarding globalization. We think we are currently dealing with globalization but we aren’t really yet. It’s coming though…

Think about it. Everything keeps getting smaller, every economy affects every other economy at this point. As this continues, every country is going to start demanding to have some say in what every other country is doing because it affects them so profoundly. I don’t know how long this will take, but it seems really logical to me. One day…many moons from now…there will be one government for the world…and there will be too much risk of overthrow for the government to not actually represent everyone. Interesting stuff, yes? I love it!

So…if you’d like to set up some rules for yourself to try to forge a more civil dialogue between your technology based parent and child, try All The Pardons at allthepardons.com. It will help you to be a more thoughtful and mindful practitioner with your mobile phone. :)

Are the Number of Crazy People in Public Increasing?

This has been a big week, with the Android version of All The Pardons app being approved last Thursday! It’s so exciting!

App, All The Pardons, kindness, be present

All The Pardons App

The iOS version is coming and it’s so interesting at how much more particular Apple is about approving new apps than Google. They keep asking question after question, asking me to change things and all in the name of user privacy, safety and convenience. I had heard before that Apple was more privacy conscious but I think we’re all skeptical these days about any of these giant companies doing anything for our benefit, am I right? I know I’m skeptical.

And, of course, I just get more and more zoned in on people’s phone etiquette everywhere I go because of All The Pardons.

Yesterday morning there was a woman on the T (the “T” means subway in Bostonian) who was having a phone conversation with (presumably) someone at top volume while at the same time we assume that 1) she knows she’s on the T 2)she knows the T is filled with other people (especially at morning rush hour) and 3) there’s a good chance she’s bothering said people.

crazy, lady, loud, phoneThe answers from her end – unless I’m forgetting something, which is definitely possible – are 1) she has forgotten she’s in public 2) she’s crazy and isn’t actually talking to anyone on the phone or 3) she just doesn’t care and didn’t feel any of us have the right to tell her what to do. There is of course one other possible option in this crazy world we’re living in and that is that this woman was looking for attention from all of us and that, I believe, she got. She got it from me and most likely others though we were trying not to show it. Please let me know if you know of another option I’ve missed here.

It seems like the more crowded this world gets, the more insecure people are trying to get everyone’s attention from crazy behavior on the T to America’s Got Talent tryouts. You hear me? They’re everywhere – though more in cities I would expect. It’s a trend I expect to continue and expand as more people are more places.

Unless……so here’s one of my crazy theories. I’ve been saying this for a while though. If we instilled therapy institutionally for everyone from say 10-15 or 16 years old, there wouldn’t be such rampant insecurity, or as many shootings and such. Just a thought but I suspect I’m on to something here (of course I do!:)

Have a great weekend y’all!


Release of a Baby App into the World…and Some Encouragement

Ok, you heard it here first folks! The Android version of  All The Pardons app (the app that tells you not to be rude with your cell phone) is released and the iOS version is coming very shortly! I can’t believe it!

App, All The Pardons, kindness, be present

AllThePardons.com App

This has been such a long road and I feel like I’ve been very, very slowly giving birth to this thing. I’m a new momma!!

So, this coincides with a little obsession I’m having right now with the artist, and former scientist, Enrique Martinez Celaya. Celaya is a painter, sculptor, poet and philosopher and is such a deep thinker that I haven’t gotten at all sick of listening to his interview with Krista Tippett from the On Being podcast called The Whisper of the Order of Things, over and over and over. I’m one of those people.

I love his voice and his distinct view on life’s issues. Here’s a quote that I’ve been particularly obsessed with this week.

“There is a tendency for us to think that to be a prophet, or to do anything grand, you have to have a special gift, be someone called for, and I think ultimately what really matters is the resolve, to want to do it – to give your life to that which you consider important. And if you have no skills to offer, or nothing special to offer, it’s all the more amazing you do it, the more remarkable.” ~ Enrique Martinez Celaya

artist, poet, painter, philosopher, writer

Enrique Martinez Celaya

I LOVE this quote! It’s so humble and honest and grateful and kind – and encouraging. So important for any artist or any person trying to struggle through something they feel passionate about. He is not condescending or looking down at us in any way. This is rare and a gift.

Celaya speaks like a poet and conveys content like a philosopher/prophet (“a philosopher’s questioning and a scientist’s eye” – Krista Tippett). These people are so unusual in their purest, truest form. I wanted to share him with you.

Check out the Android version of All The Pardons if you have such a thing – and let me know what you think! Have a great weekend!

Would You Be Excited For an App That Helps You Be More Kind?

Hello Y’all!

All The Pardons Home Page

All The Pardons Home Page

It’s been a busy freaking week! I mean, yes it’s the holidays and all but everything, on every front, has been asking more and more and more of my time. I’m sure you are all on some version of this so I won’t bore you with complaining.

Anyway, the long and short of it is that it looks like the app (All The Pardons) is going live sometime next week! I’m starting to get really excited about this! I’ve been getting a lot of positive feedback on this lately and the world seems to be urging me on unknowingly with articles complicit with my cause.

Check out this one from the Washington Post about an ex-VP from Facebook who is saying that social media is ripping apart the fabric that holds society together. He’s worried – so am I.

All The Pardons App - Settings Page

All The Pardons App – Settings Page

My app is designed to help us be present, to undo the programming that is unknowingly being done to us each day. I want us to reclaim our independent thinking and work toward a unified society again. Social media makes it easy for people with a negative agenda to control large swaths of people and make them believe that things are happening that aren’t. It’s a frightening prospect in theory and action. Half of my family was wiped out by the nazis. Can you imagine if these tools were around for them to use?  Look how accomplished they were in their evil deeds without them (and spreading very similar rumors, by the way).

It seems to me that little signs in all directions are starting to realize that social media isn’t all it was originally cracked up to be. As in all new things that seem like they’ll solve all of our problems, nothing is that much of a panacea. –

Mr. McGuire: I just want to say one word to you. Just one word.

Benjamin: Yes, sir.

Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?

Benjamin: Yes, I am.

Mr. McGuire: Plastics.

– From the film The Graduate

I will leave you with this lovely article on kindness from HES (Health Enhancement Systems). Just another reinforced thought that kindness is good for your health and well being.

Have a great weekend, loves!

Are You Aware of the Two Separate Worlds We All Live In?

This past week has been making me think more than usual. For those of you who know me, you may be snickering, “What would that volume look like?”, but as I stare past you at the wall, a myriad of emotions have been flashing across my consciousness.

skulls, paint, black and white

Murakami detail

I was teary at the outcome of the Walter Scott murder case conviction (the officer got 20 years) for many reasons but mostly because it has been pointed out to me that, as in the past it has been legal in this country to hang black people and denigrate them at will. Today it is legal for anyone in a uniform to kill any black person who crosses their path – they have all gotten away with it up until now.

As I come to the development end of my All The Pardons app journey, I know that my next project will address white priviledge and supremacy – just not sure what it will look like yet.

The whole “woke” movement is so right on target. It reminds me of the film The Matrix where you choose either the blue pill, and stay in the clueless oblivion of ignorance, or take the red pill and “awake” to the realities that were going on all around you all the time, you just couldn’t see them.

White priviledge allows white people to remain unaware of the two separate Americas that we live in. It’s like sleep walking through life thinking that everyone has equal opportunities and realities of safety and the future without acknowledging the facts around us to the contrary. Statistics on pretty much every topic I’ve seen show a wide variety being completely lopsided – pregnancy and childbirth survival rates (mother and child), survival or safety rates of being pulled over or questioned by anyone in a uniform, getting a fair choice of housing by a real estate agent, getting a decent education if you’re poor – you name it and there’s proof of uneven statistics out there on it.

shells, beach, nesting

Photo Credit: Alys Myers, 2017

Here’s the facts (and they will matter to you one way or another over time): 1) indifference is where evil comes from 2) ignoring injustice takes away your humanity 3) you can’t assure your freedom if you are complicit with taking someone elses away.

So that is what I am going to leave you with today. Think about these things. They are important and our democracy and entire republic is dependant on how we move forward on these issues.

Lastly, All The Pardons app is going live soon (I’ll let you know when for certain). I urge you to try it out and let me know your experience. My hope is that it will help people become better versions of themselves. :)

Do You Need Some Help Keeping the Big Baddies Away?

So….just coming off of pneumonia and total and utter exhaustion…made me think about Thanksgiving and what it meant to me this year.

Photo Credit: Mary Kuskin

Photo Credit: Mary Kuskin

Here is what it meant:

– Small things are big things (especially the really good things)

– Big things are small things (they just seem like big things – put them back in their place)

– The list of people who truly support and really get you is short (it’s meant to be that way). Raise them up and push the naysayers  out.

– The hits you take because you’re different (if you are, of course), or trying to do something different, just make you stronger. They      really do…I can feel it.

And…here are a couple of quotes that really struck me and I keep coming back to them.



“People who repeatedly attack your confidence and self-esteem are quite aware of your potenial, even if you’re not.”

This one I’ve posted to social media this week because I thought it was so well said. I got it from this week’s podcast, one of my faves, Disrupt Yourself w/Whitney Johnson and her interview with Luvvie Ajayi.

“If you have a microphone plugged into an amplifier, it is wrong for you not to sing. If you have been placed in a sphere of influence, I believe it is wrong for you not to use it to better the world. If you feel it is not your place to leave this world better than you found it, then you are taking everything around you for granted. Don’t squander your social currency. Don’t squander your wealth. And if people stop supporting your work because you dared to do something, then good riddance.” – Luvvie Ajayi (from the book, I’m Judging You: The Do Right Manual)

So, I think what’s helped most of all – putting all of this into perspective – is meditation and yoga. Without a calm mind, it’s hard to put it all into perspective and keep the big baddies from taking over.

I am thankful for you ♥, whomever is reading this, and looking forward to a better year for all of us (we can hope, right?).

Are You Sad At the State of the World These Days?

I’m sure I’m not alone these days…I mean in my thinking.

Monsanto is getting away with uber poisons that could potentially kill off all of the independant farmers along with their non-GMO crops, all in the name of greed (click here if you feel the need to act on this).

Influencer to Alys Myers Studio

Architectural Rendering of Pat Falco’s “Luxury Waters” condo tower, 2017 (Pat Falco)

Elephant’s are getting closer to extinction everyday (click here, ditto).

Rascism seems to be so institutionalized that sometimes even people of color can’t see it (see WBUR article here).

And affordable housing is beyond most people’s reach. Well, artist Pat Falcois smartly satirizing this topic at Open Gallery, near South Station (in Boston folks, sorry if that’s not near – really cool piece though- check it out), through November 1st, with Luxury Waters: Sales Office that shows the reality, that Boston is a luxury utopia that no one can afford. A framed poster at the entrance reads “Tower above the city with the largest income inequality gap in the country. Pre-selling fall 2017.” Sadly, it’s true (the statement, not the pre-sell :).

Influencer to Alys Myers Studio

Pat Falco, Boston Campaign Headquarters (detail), 2016 (Pat Falco)

Falco previously did an installation in an empty Faneuil Hall store front, called Boston Campaign Headquarters, where he set up a fake campaign facade with the front door reading “Land of the free and 200 million other people”. Great stuff.

See, there are a cohort of us (large, I hope) out there trying to fight for this place to be better. If enough of us join in, we can make a dent. Join us or support us or raise us up!

Lastly, the Indiegogo campaign is over for All The Pardons app. You will either be overjoyed, sad you missed it, or you’re now thinking, “What’s she on about?”. None-the-less, I am happy to be moving back to the production side of the job. The pages are almost done! Yay! Happy weekend everybody!